| first day off...one more to go... |
[04 May 2005|12:42pm] |
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I played poker for a bit online today...got bored...checked mail and here I am now...
I am off today and tomorrow and have no idea what to do...I need to do laundry and wash my car and all of that boring work related shit...but still I hesitate...
...I want to have a crazy whim and get up and just go...but alas...I am whimless
...I should start drawing again...i haven't in a while and use to be ok...I miss it...
I began to watch a movie last night on TV called City of Industry...I only got bits and pieces of it so I couldn't tell if it was any good or not...but Steven Dorf was in is and boy was he hot...he was the bad guy, like in Blade...he is an evil hottness...with the blond highlights and the spikes...yummy..
....I want someone to have a whim with...it would be fun to go to NO today...but it's somewhat scary alone..hummm...
........well...I'm off to do something...who knows...later....g_i_d
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[28 Apr 2005|12:00pm] |
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I am off today and tomorrow...which is cool b/c Friday is my birthday...but something horrible has happened...my stepgrandma died on Tuesday morning...She did so much for me when i lived with her...I wouldn't have gotten through some things if it had not been for her...it's hard to realize that something like this has happened...it takes a bit to sink in...hearing it just doesn't make it real...It hit me that morning when I was alone at my house...
...there are two ways that people cry...there is the crying when your parents have just yelled at you and made you so mad that you could just scream...your chest is bouncing uncontrolably up and down...you're gasping for air, but it seems likes our breathing will never slow.......than there's the type of crying that you do when some horrible tragedy has happened...then you're blank...expressionless...and the tears just steadily stream down...you feel paralyzed...the thoughts in your mind are just swirling around, unable to be sorted out...
...I need to get out of the house...It's a beautiful day...I adopted a soldier the other day...he/she becomes like your pen pal and you send them things that they need...it's a good program...many of the soldiers don't have families and it's nice for them to have someone to brighten their day...if anyone is interested you can visit...www.soldiersangels.org...
...later...g_i_d
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| Wewo peeps!!! |
[24 Jan 2005|04:54pm] |
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Hey everyone...I know that I haven't updated in a long time but I've been busy...I've been hanging out with Brittany since she is back from Alabama and Kiet a lot...we have so much fun...right now the three of us are hanging out at Nat's pad in Hattiesburg...SLEEPOVER!!!...Life has been so much fun lately...I love my friends so much...this Friday Brittany and I went out on the prowl...it was awesome...I got my first balloon animal...it was a green dragon with blue wings...Brittany got a monkey in a tree...I am still undecided on what to do with the whole college thing...but I'll figure it out sooner or later...lately I have had something that was a little messed up happen to me...I was misled by a guy...but I am glad that it happened...now I am much more independent than I was before...I have a new view on life and it's wonderful...it's funny how something bad sometimes has to happen to turn things around in your life...I hope that everyone is as content as I am...sorry if I was rambling...but that's about all that has happened lately...talk to you all later....Buh-Bye...g_i_d
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| Hello...long time no see.. |
[15 Nov 2004|03:24pm] |
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the calm hum of the fridge |
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Hey everyone...sorry about never writing...just busy with stuff...let me do the quick catch up....been working...saw dad for first timein 3 years...stepmom blinded from stroke...play poker with the boys every Friday night...going to sign up for college soon...dated this guy at work for a few weeks...that went nowhere...saw this guy that I had a major squish on the other night...that was surprising...saw Billy Madison for the first time last night...also got my very own Blockbuster card yesterday night...come to think of it yesterday was a very productive day overall...so right now I am just doing the teenage thing and floating around until something exciting grabs me...I miss the drama and excitement of high school...hopefully college will be cool..I just got done looking on ebay...the first 4 seasons of Courage the cowardly Dog were on sale...I think that I'm going to get them...I LOVE COURAGE THE COWARDLY DOG!!....that's about all that has happened with me lately...hope that all of you are doing good...I'm going to try to write more often...see you guys later.....g_i_d
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| wednesday from heaven and thursday's near death |
[25 Sep 2004|05:24pm] |
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Asian Groove |
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hey journal...on Wednesday I went to the Incubus concert at the UNO...it was REALLY good...Brandon Boyd(sp?) is hott...and super talented...he sings, plays the guitar and the bongos!...that was cool...and then Thursday hit me like a ton of bricks...I saw my dad for the first time in three years...he came by my work...that was a shock...but more shocking was why he came by in the first place...it was because my stepmom had a stroke...she's blind...they don't know if she will regain sight or make it much longer...I don't really to know what to say...it's one of those speechless times...I've cried a lot these past few days...me crying so much seemed impossible until it happened...everything was going so well...and then...it just fell apart...everything that was right for once turned to poop...when things are bad the littlest bad thing can just break you at any moment...on Sunday I'm spending some of the day with my stepsister...may be things will start to look up...I can't say just how much I need them to...........g_i_d
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| WOO-HOO...just doin' the Sunday thang! |
[13 Sep 2004|01:11pm] |
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Right Here in my Arms- HIM |
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hey journal...yesterday was pretty cool...I got up kind of early...went shopping for dinner on Tuesday...went to see my grandparents to bring them a happy grandparent's day cake and card...they said it was cute...I hung out there for a little while and played with my little cousin Karl who's 3...we played jenga 4 times...I beat him all four...but he is devious and knows the meaning of revenge becausee after that he challenged me to a game on his leap frog learning pad...you know the one where they say the state name and you touch it...I got my ass handed to me!...all of those damn western states are square who the hell knows the difference!!!...but I tied with him on the third round of it so I did somewhat redeem myself...it was nice to see him again...he likes hanging out with me...I'm his favorite cousin!...WOO-HOO!...and the ride back home had that Sunday drive kind of feel...you know like in the movies with the hair blowing back, the cool breeze, the warm sun...it was really nice...right now I am eating a grapefruit...it's yummy...I'm trying to cut down on the sweets and junk food a little bit...not totally...but every little bit helps!....well...I have to get ready for work...talk to you when I can...g_i_d
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| Best Water in the World!! |
[09 Sep 2004|03:27pm] |
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Hello......I have to say this because it's the most awesome thing ever...I have found...the best, freshest tasting water in the world!!!...it's amazing....the best water in the world is the water you drink right after eating any kind of chocolate....it's true...it's AWESOME!!!...I'm not usre what makes it this neato but it is....anyone who reads this should try it...IT ROCKS!!!!....there are things I need to do...I'm cooking dinner tonight...it is all cultural and whatnot...the appetizer is from China...I'm cooking vegetarian eggrolls and shrimp eggrolls...the dinner is Italian...I'm cooking a little creation of my own...it's cheesy garlic stuffed chicken pieces sauteed and put over angel hair pasta and a steamy garlic butter sauce...hope it tastes as good as it sounds...and the dessert is Egyptian...my mom requested it because I made it for her before...it's called Shorba Arnabeet Baladi....Mrs. Albertene in the bakery wants me to bring her some too...I hope that it all turns out good...well...I must be away to start preparing things.........g_i_d
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| I was the grass-eating librarian monkey with dorky glasses!! |
[03 Sep 2004|04:05pm] |
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Your Cheatin' Heart- yeah...that OLD song... |
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I know that ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) morphine300mg is jealous of that!...WOO-HOO!!!...I get to act alongside the FABULOUS John Depp!.....Jessica is my co-star!...WOO-HOO!....sounds like fun.....
.......I get off today at 6:30...I have nothing to do though...I will have a movie night I think...I must pick a theme...UUMM...what to do for a theme...maybe comedy...those are really great...if anyone wants to join me just give me a call and/or stop by my house...I'm gonna have fun whether I have a relaxing movie night by myself or someone decides to join me...
...I procrastinate...I shouldn't, but I do...there are so many things that I need to do but haven't...let me go do them......g_i_d
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| ..sniffs...melts into chair... |
[27 Aug 2004|11:12am] |
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Southside - ? |
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Hello...I am sick...got the whole stuffy nose sneezes thing going on...being sick just drains a person...You're all slow and BLAH like some of the old people you see with the walkers and whatnot...it sucks to feel 80 at 18...other than that things haven't been that bad...I have been thinking a lot...there are so many things that I wonder about...there are tons of questions that I would like the answers to, but I don't want to ask anyone about it because of the possibility that it could lead to a fight or argument...I hate to fight, I have lived around that stuff my whole life and I don't want to be around that stuff...I wish that I could just think of a question that I wanted to ask someone when I'm with them and have it answered w/o asking...like telepathy...that would be convenient...everything tastes weird when you're sick...it is all abnormal...I've been playing poker online lately...I love it...I'm pretty good at it too...I won almost five dollars the other day!...I guess I'm off to play again before I go to work...Bye Bye........g_i_d
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| ...So this is what being dead feels like... |
[23 Aug 2004|01:48pm] |
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the blowing of the air conditioning...nothing else... |
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I would say hey everyone as I normally do but no on even reads this so...HEY NO ONE!...I think that I'm gonna stop writing in my journal...it seems almost pointless...no one reads it...no one cares...I think I might be dead...it seems like no one sees me...no on e even realizes when I'm there...I might as well not be...is this what being dead feels like?...are you there observing everything and no one sees you?...Is that it?...I just got stabbed in the back the other day by my "best friend"...they did a GREAT job...kill on impact...this has to be what it is like when you're dead...just observing...never being seen though...not being remembered...that's what happens when you die...you're important for a week and them it was like you never existed in the first place...yep...this is it...no tears after it all...no solace for anything...just the solitary feeling of death.....
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| not the 13th...but doesn't everyday feel that way... |
[16 Aug 2004|11:39am] |
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No Doubt - Bathwater |
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Hey everyone...last night I darkened my henna...I have one on that is my own design...not to say much...but I think that it is awesome...YUMMY...last night my mom cooked...we had chicken fajitas...sponky ate dinner with us...he's my little Wal-Mart stalker...can't even have lunch without checking in the rear view window...there he lurks!...I wonder what EXACTLY people mean when they say that they have hit rock bottom...where is that?...Rock Bottom...sounds like a small town in Colorado....Rock Bottom, Colorado...it fits...how can you hit rock bottom?...if anything you would hit rock top...it is impossible to hit the bottom of a rock...stupid saying, I think..."I tell myself, What good do you do?"...very No Doubt right now..."share a toothbrush!"...I think the answer would be slim to none...that's somewhat saddening...I sometimes wish that I had my own personal bubble that couldn't be penetrated by ANYONE...then I wouldn't hurt anyone...that would be convenient...'cause I seem to do the worst job at keeping people happy and unhurt...I must get out of this current funk that I am in...I need happy, crazy dance music that I can do the white girl jam to...maybe that will take away some of the feeling...away I go...~flies into wall~.....let's try that again.......AWAY!!!......WOO-HOO!.....talk to ya later....love ya lots....g_i_d
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| The cursed FRIDAY THE 13TH!!...DUN DUN DUN... |
[13 Aug 2004|10:17pm] |
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Tainted Love - that band...not manson...yep them! |
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hey everyone..it's that day...the one where some people stay at home curled in a little ball due to the day and the date...how crazy!...my day wasn't bad...I had the BEST stuffed mushrooms from Mike's Seafood and Pizza...they were SO GOOD...I think I am becoming addicted to stuffed mushrooms...if anyone likes them I suggest them from Mike's...but they are pricey for some mushrooms...I did...however...burn my arm at work today REALLY bad...a strip on the bottom of my arm for like six inches is red and hurts a bit...during my lunch break I went home and layed on the floor with some of those kiddie freezy pops under my arm until it went numb...the kiddie pops are multi purpose...good for a snack and for first aid!!!...you learn something new everyday!...that's about all of the excitement for today....oh...no......ANNOUNCEMENT!.......I have next Friday OFF!.....if anyone wants to chill of anything call me or leave your number on a comment or somethin'....I know I need to chill with more people...I have to branch out a bit from work, poker and sleep......hope to see and hear from all of you soon...love ya lots...talk to ya later....g_i_d
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| ...wow...it's me again...I'm back... |
[12 Aug 2004|10:40am] |
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Crossfade - Cold |
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Hey everyone...what's going on?...I know that I haven't updated in like years...I'm just busy with work and everything...chaos...I work all the time...and on my days off I do household junk that needs to be done...or go out on the town with my chicky poos...I don't want to go into to much detail...but I am sad...I fear that I am turning into my father and that I can't do anything to change it...I see his traits in me all of the time...and it's hard to change something like yourself when it is due to the way that you were raised...I know that some of you have NO idea what the hey I'm talking about...let's just say that my dad is not very nice, honest, trustworthy or decent...I feel so numb sometimes...I do anything bad and it hardly even phases me like it should...I need to find my emotions desperately...I can't cry...it's horrible...I haven't tried to, but I think if I hit someone's cat it wouldn't make me cry...I'd feel bad for it...but no tears...and I am a SERIOUS animal person...I really don't get it....it's confusing and I know that it hurts me and others and I wish like hell that I could change it...but as always like cruel irony works...if I don't change and hurt someone it's not like I will cry about it!!!...I seem to always have the feeling as though I have hurt someone and they just don't want to say it...if I have hurt anyone...even if it is something REALLY stupid, please tell me...I hate to think that I have hurt anyone b/c I know it sucks...
"I Fell"
I fell
Like the rain falls to the Earth
Hitting hard
Splattering to the four winds
I fell
Like a glass casually knocked off of a table
Shattering instantly
My pieces scattered on the ground
Never to recover all of them again
I fell
Like an infant taking its first steps
Stumbling clumsily
Because even though everything is the same, it's all different now
that is just a poem that I started a while ago and finished today...it kind of describes how I feel...it's horrible...I need something/someone to brighten my day...it's pretty overcast from where I am....love ya lots...talk to ya later.........g_i_d
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| ...it just ain't what it use to be....now it's SO much better!!... |
[01 Aug 2004|11:44pm] |
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Hey everyone...I haven't been up to much...I saw The Village it was the TOTAL OPPOSITE of what it seems like in the previews...I went to Olive Garden...had the stuffed mushrooms...yummy!!!...the rock majorly!...and the Chicken Vino Bianco...which wasn't bad...but not nearly as good ass the Chicken Scampi.....I also went to Bad, Bath and Beyond where I got the coolest thing EVER!!!.....drum roll please!.........A MAGNETIC DART BOARD WHICH DOUBLES ON THE BACK AS A BASEBALL GAME!!!!!!!.......how neato is that!?!?!?!.....I adore it!!!.....not I must find a person who ready to get down and play a mean game of darts!....WOO-HOO!!!......now for the FABULOUS WORD for the entry......and this entries fabulous word is.......trickery......isn't that a juicy word!.....it is absolutely fabulous......and doesn't it just give the best mental picture.....I personally think of the last few scenes of The Queen of the Damned when Lestat bites her and sucks her to near and certain death...it is a prime example of how trickery can be without a doubt FABULOUS.....you end up cheering due to the fact that it is so evil and "wrong"......it brings out that lustfully delicious evil side of a person that shows itself on rare occasion...but when it does...WATCH OUT!!!!!!...well...I suppose that is enough of my evil ravings of trickery tonight....love you all lots...talk to ya later........g_i_d
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| orbital here I come!!!........FABULOUS WORD!!!...SAY WHAT!?!? |
[28 Jul 2004|02:57pm] |
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New Found Glory-All Down Hill From Here |
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hey everyone this is just a quick update while I'm on my lunch break...I've been so busy lately...much work and whatnot...I got my ear pierced on Saturday...I have two cartilage piercings on my right ear now that are 16 gauge...it is in pain...but cute so therefore worth it!!!...I found out that to gauge an ear they use a hollow needle that punches out part of your ear!!!....good thing I didn't know that before...I might not have had it done!!!...in about 2 monthes I will have my charished orbital!!!!...WOO-HOO!...I have very little else interesting to say...sorry that I haven't been commenting or anything...I don't have much time for my journal or other peoples lately...sorry!...love you all tons though...I am going to start a new tradition now...this is my FABULOUS WORD...and this entries fabulous word is........~drum roll~......EYECANDY!...it is a simple compound word that, when you think about it...is extremely sexy...and no one ever uses it anymore...it is a fabulous near forgotten word that must be remembered!!!...go my friends...use it well!!...wow...soak in the dorkness!...hehehe....gotta go back to work now....love ya lots...talk to ya later....g_i_d
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| wow...updating...but not... |
[19 Jul 2004|11:52pm] |
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Lil Flip-???..."..I can call you my baby boy..." |
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Hey everyone....I haven't been up to much except work and I went to Dani's party on Saturday...that was pretty fun...I was the loud one with all of the stories...today wasn't bad...I had the day off...I got to sleep at like 4:30 because I was watching a movie...Freddy vs. Jason...aaahhh...the memories...times that seemed much better than now...but I still wonder...I saw two other movies today also...the first was called Rundown I think...and the other was 50 First Dates...they were both kinda funny and dramatic at the same time...I made tamale pie for dinner...it was yummy...I seem to lately be feeling so confused about everything...it is frustrating...most of my frustrations and curiousities are about love...I don't know how to tell if someone loves me...sure they can say it...but that means very little nowadays...how can you tell for sure?!?...I think that I may never know what to think about that one...when it comes to love and relationships I have SO many options right now...it makes matters worse...more complicated...it would be so easy to be limited to like 2 choices on everything...that way you have a 50% chance of getting it right!!!...much better odds and as a poker player I know that it's nice to have the odds in your favor!...I'm sure that you all have no idea what I'm talking about...so I'll stop my babbling about it all...talk to ya later...love ya lots...g_i_d
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| work...and how relationships are BS!!!! |
[13 Jul 2004|09:39pm] |
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Just Like You- ??? |
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Hey everyone...work was okay today...one of the ladies who got hired the day I did already put in her 2 week notice...she said that it is too stressful...it can be at times...but anyways...on to this very controversial subject...this is a thought in general...not to be taken the wrong way, like it is due to anyone or anything like that because it isn't...but...RELATIONSHIPS ARE ALL STRESS AND BS...it's true...I hate being stressed b/c then I can't be the happy, slightly crazy person that I want to be b/c I am pissed or sad...it's such BS...there is always something...they are jealous...there's ten million people hitting on them...ex's are ALWAYS in the mix of things...he doesn't do that for you like he did...she does that when she shouldn't...there are these HUGE knock down, drag out fights over you hanging out with some of your guy friends or over that person just wanting you for the booty...it's SO hair-pulling frustrating...who really needs stress like that!?!?!?...Would it be easier just to have friends and then have casual sex with someone?...along the lines of a fuck buddy...that seems like it wouldn't be nearly as complicated...you can do what the hell you want...but still have someone to give you some booty...maybe that's the cure-all to the crap of a relationship...if you're not tied down then you also can't be hurt...that's another perk that you don't have in a relationship...there is so much pain involved in them sometimes...I feel too young to have this much stress over the opposite sex...it doesn't seem right to me...isn't this the time made for us to be stereotypical teens who are young and not committed and free to roam and try new things...I know that a lot of people who just have casual sex are looked down upon...mainly the girls...but why is this?!?!...shouldn't girls have sex like guys...b/c we want and it's fun!?...why are we the sluts and they are the pimps...that is such BS?!?...I hate the sexual bias of our society...it's crappy...but really is there anything wrong with casual sex, living life to the funnest and having little to worry about??...and I am not talking about casual sex in the aspect that a girl sees a guy and fucks him and then another and another...I mean in the way that you have a usual fuck buddy...not like 5 or 6 or anything...just another person who wants someone there for the physical side and doesn't want to have the stress of all of the emotional side...IS THAT WRONG???...I am at a time in life where I am SERIOUSLY questioning things and want to know what others think to help guide me on my path to hopefully finding some answers...I hope to have MANY comments on this emtry...so if you have ANYTHING to add I want you to go right ahead...talk to ya later...love ya lots...g_i_d
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| the pee pee frog and the grodieness |
[12 Jul 2004|12:22am] |
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stepdad bitching about poker chat ban |
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Yesterday...which was like 30 minutes ago I worked for like 9 hours...my job is pretty rough at times...I had to clean a butt load of stuff b/c I closed today for the first time ever...it is ICKY!!!...but that's okay...the funniest thing happened today...I was leaving my house after my lunch break and a frog hopped out in front of me...I slammed on my breaks b/c I am an animal person and hate to hurt them...I stopped and then backed up...the person in the passenger seat who shall remain nameless due to request said that the frog was okay...but it didn't move...I was so worried that I had hit him...so I pulled around the side of him...I got the passenger to get out and make sure that I didn't hit him and to move him out of the road...the funny thing is that the frog was alright...but he had peed on himself!!!....HEHEHE...that's so funny...the other person and I laughed so hard about it...it was great b/c I didn't hit the frog and we both got a good laugh out of the whole thing!!!...that's about it for my day of excitement...just thought that you all might think that that was kinda cute and funny at the same time...talk to ya later...love ya lots...g_i_d
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| catching up for the past week |
[07 Jul 2004|05:49pm] |
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Nickelback-Someday |
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hey everyone...sorry that I haven't updated in a while...been pretty busy...i went to a college preview day on the first..it sucked!...it was rainy...and my schedule was all funky!...I also got the run around from the advisors....been working....I like work...it's a busy place...but the people are nice for the most parrt...hanging out with Lisa, lil_devil66, and sponky..he's such a sweetie!...and that's about it...right now I am watching Chicken Run...it's an awesome movie...I need to go see Bob...must make time to visit...I am aggravated right now...it's just people in general are just pissing me off me right now...they LIE!!...CHEAT!!!...STEAL!!!...FUCKIN' LIE SOME MORE!!!...it's such BS...I am tired of it...if anyone has been lying or telling me half truthes...tell me...I probably know already anyways...just let it out!!...stop being deceiptful and 2 faced about it!!...say what the hell you mean!!!...I am going to go now before I get too pissed...talk to ya later...g_i_d
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